SO I went back and reread some of my old posts and I realize that not enough had changed until I began school this summer. I was still wishing that I would create more and spending more time focused on the lives of others than I was on my own life and I think that has been to my detriment. I have been feeling full and satiated as of late, pausing to take a photo of something beautiful or making a note of some scenario that I invented on the spot.
I have been so caught up with my own BS that I was not moving forward. I had been lacking both awareness and adventure from my life. I told myself a few weeks before school started that I needed to do 4 things everyday (today, I just realize is the first day that I have actually done all four) write, move/workout, draw, and paint (Even though it was with pastels).
I think today has been one of my best days in a long time.
I think that I might have hurt someones feelings with my honesty though. That does not feel good, but the fact that I even care is progress. I think that I had been running from my life and to center myself I decided on the four things to do because I am happiest when these things have a place in my everyday. I plan to hold them tight and never let go.
PS: my son is great. I feel like it is odd that I never seem to bring him up so here I am bringing him up.
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